We lose ourselves so much in the imitation of others that we find it deeply unnatural to relearn ourselves”. @dhanyero_wacho
I agree. I also feel that “it’s the image of ourselves we see through the perception of others”. You’re right. It takes a lot of time to unravel this thought and my belief is that I will only manage to explore a grain of your statement based on the recent experiences I have had. I’ll discuss the grain of Subjectivity.
I’ll begin with how we feel we have authority over the power of Subjectivity. I personally love Subjectivity; the premise of all research I believe, should be based on Subjectivity. It offers an individual the ability to create and redefine truth based on personal empathy. With this being said, in all its beauty I find the biggest of issues because in having the flexibility to structure truth in ways we feel are most comfortable for us, we lose the ability to draw the line. We may lose ourselves even; and in losing ourselves we mismanage choice.
Practising Subjectivity in almost all we decide gives us the ability to explore and learn. Subjectivity must always be within context. Once applied to the simplicity of being Christian, it becomes complicated and we lose authority over the ability to seek spiritually what is in Christ in order to fulfil our God given purposes. My gut tells me I have already touched on a sensitive topic relating to what it means to seek and to hear spiritually from God, or even how does one get to know their “God given purpose”?; lets save that for another day. The consequence in this is that we lose. When you’re losing, the best way to stay afloat is to rely right? So in losing spiritual guidance from God we rely on ourselves and our surroundings to guide us because we are further away from the truth we say we are seeking. These theories and ways of life (sometimes unknowingly justified) begin to guide us, although deep down we know that our knew found conclusions on how to channel through life are not what we truly identify with. We are relying on our own theories that we become comfortable with who we have become. A lot of the times we may see our peers living in ways that may be detrimental to our spirit selves, and we rely on the justification that “if he/she is doing it (and they are Christian) then it must not be that bad”. I recently wrote “let me be the Christian who doesn’t rely on others wrongdoings in order to justify my own”. Excuse me if I have gone off tangent, we are dealing with attempting to define truth. All theory is based on seeking a truth; I’m not saying I am right, or wrong. I don’t know. I speak only from experience.
I recently experienced the presence of God upon me one morning. Whilst questioning God out of frustration and anger, I then felt an overwhelming peace. In that moment of silence, I felt these words fall upon me:
“You’re always fighting through choices on how to feel, behave, and act in many areas of your life. The problem should’ve never been the choice. It’s not about the choice you make, rather the journey you take. Didn’t we already establish that I am the choice? I am the choice. Just pay attention to the journey”
Experience is the best teacher. Regardless of the choices; it’s the experiences that establish how rich we are as individuals. The experiences hold the lessons we are called to testify. I think truth comes from understanding what life is really about. If you establish your understanding of why you’re here, (as a Christian) that is to spread the good news. Then there are a few factors that should come into mind. These factors I believe should enable you to gain that control and authority in redefining who you are based on your core beliefs; based on your core truths, rather than believing in the subjective truths that lead you to loss of control and identity, to the point you lose control of who you are and are seriously struggling to get back to base. A point where your identify has been moulded as a result of assimilation. I’m sure if you’re in this place of sever discomfort with your identity you’re asking God to bail you out. I can relate.
Patterning your own religion to adhere to your personal standards of what God is asking from you is dangerous. This is where I feel my Subjectivity and conformity to imitation has consequently led me to a place of loss. Loss of who I am that is.
So the questions now are; how does one strip back to basics in order to truly understand what God is asking for? If I can’t interpret according to my own instincts then am I even relevant? Am I not giving God too much authority over my life and leaving myself with nothing? Is it not almost like losing your identity on another spectrum? What does it mean to have a relationship with God? What does it mean to be a child of God? Alongside these questions, what if I am wasting my time? What is truth if there is no tangible evident? Allow me to assign myself homework to tackle these Existential issues in the coming weeks. Allow yourself to tackle these questions and share with others, and myself what your thoughts are. I’ll speak to you very soon, have a beautiful week.