Self Love

Uncategorized, WORDS FROM A PETAL, WORDS FROM THE PETAL

For a long time I chose to practice the act of self-love. After a while, I began to realise that the grounds on which my love relied on where not enough for the woman I wanted to become and am becoming. I then decided to break the whole concept down instead of just doing without any real establishment of how and why. I must acknowledge the women and men who practice self-love. We are all different and it is important to find what is right for you and to run with it. Those who do, have served as a great example through breaking the social norms established by a number of institutions over several years, and serve as an amazing example to those who don’t, and to those who are yet to radically love who they are. I applaud you.

I began with Love. The descriptions of love were useful in guiding me on ways to practice what it means. Though I was searching for a definition, I needed to know what it meant for me to practice it in its fullness. In exploring Love through discussions with a number of people, and reading, there were several things I learnt, and was reminded of. I remember reading Paulo Coelho’s The Witch of Portobello, where he wrote “Love simply is”. This resonated with me so well because I didn’t want to confine something through establishing a fixed and restricted space for it. In practicing this self-love, I made affirmations often, I felt beautiful, but there were voids I couldn’t quite get my head around.

In my early stages of redirecting a life to Christ, I began to explore Jesus’s life and it was where I found many of the answers I’d been searching for. I saw a tangible example of love through action in him. A personification of love and it was in the bible where love was defined.

 “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” (1 John 4:16)

If God is Love, what is it that God does to lead as an example of what it means to practise Love? There are ample examples which can be identified in the bible. In regards to self-love my experiences tell me that one simply cannot love in a profound way if one does not know what it means to love who they are first. Put simply, self-love is loving yourself despite all of the factors that will distract you not to. If God is love, then surely to Love myself is to see myself through the eyes of the Lord. If I am made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27), there is no reason to question the beauty carved by the hands of someone who made me in his image. Now I look at my reflection and I feel complete, even with the imperfections. The epitome of God’s commitment to us regardless of  falling short of doing good, we are loved and forgiven. What I love the most about this definition is that it will never change, it is fixed forever. Each day I am attentive to the attributes of love, so I too can embody them, in order to love myself and to love those around me.

As always,

Love always

HLP xo

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Summer Dresses

Style, Uncategorized

I’m such a girly girl and love summer dresses because of the comfort and convenience of them! I’ve never really been a summer girl but this year I’ve enjoyed the sun on the few occasions it’s appeared.

Here is a favorite dress I wore on my trip to Zimbabwe!

Dress: Topshop

 

Also check out my Youtube Video!

 

 

Make the Most Out of Social Media

Uncategorized

Social Media shares characteristics comprising of participation, openness, conversation, community, and connectedness. These are descriptives used to best identify exactly what social media involves. When used appropriately, I truly believe there is so much we can take from it in order to grow personally, in friendships, artistic fields and business ideas.

There are a number of negative posts I bump into being promoted, to encourage or inform fellow users that being alone is enough, or that you don’t need friends, or even that we shouldn’t trust anyone. It has become a huge issue because instead of concluding on the belief that users are inheriting a level of immaturity, this may be a cry out for help. The idea of letting the world know that you are content with being alone becomes a walking contraction for it defeats the purpose of why you are posting such words.

Just be. Don’t feel you need to prove anything to anyone.

We are not designed to be alone.

It is ok to not be ok. Speak to someone if your trust has been broken because it is important that we find trustworthy people to share with.

Don’t spend time tallying your likes against others.

Make the most of social media. Use it to your advantage.

Don’t let it define you for it will take a lot of the time you could be spending on more impactful areas of your life.

Don’t feel guilty about making memories on your platforms, just remember to also spend time enjoying the experiences.

If you were to leave this earth, and someone could understand you through your timeline of visuals and words, what would you want them to see? This could happen at any time.

Connect to make a social impact. Connect to transform lives. Connect to

create businesses. Connect to love. Connect to transform, even if it’s just one life.

Love always, HLP x

How much of Subjectivity can a Christian really apply to their faith?

WORDS FROM A PETAL, WORDS FROM THE PETAL

We lose ourselves so much in the imitation of others that we find it deeply unnatural to relearn ourselves”. @dhanyero_wacho

I agree. I also feel that “it’s the image of ourselves we see through the perception of others”. You’re right. It takes a lot of time to unravel this thought and my belief is that I will only manage to explore a grain of your statement based on the recent experiences I have had.  I’ll discuss the grain of Subjectivity.

I’ll begin with how we feel we have authority over the power of Subjectivity. I personally love Subjectivity; the premise of all research I believe, should be based on Subjectivity. It offers an individual the ability to create and redefine truth based on personal empathy. With this being said, in all its beauty I find the biggest of issues because in having the flexibility to structure truth in ways we feel are most comfortable for us, we lose the ability to draw the line. We may lose ourselves even; and in losing ourselves we mismanage choice.

Practising Subjectivity in almost all we decide gives us the ability to explore and learn. Subjectivity must always be within context. Once applied to the simplicity of being Christian, it becomes complicated and we lose authority over the ability to seek spiritually what is in Christ in order to fulfil our God given purposes. My gut tells me I have already touched on a sensitive topic relating to what it means to seek and to hear spiritually from God, or even how does one get to know their “God given purpose”?; lets save that for another day. The consequence in this is that we lose. When you’re losing, the best way to stay afloat is to rely right? So in losing spiritual guidance from God we rely on ourselves and our surroundings to guide us because we are further away from the truth we say we are seeking. These theories and ways of life (sometimes unknowingly justified) begin to guide us, although deep down we know that our knew found conclusions on how to channel through life are not what we truly identify with. We are relying on our own theories that we become comfortable with who we have become. A lot of the times we may see our peers living in ways that may be detrimental to our spirit selves, and we rely on the justification that “if he/she is doing it (and they are Christian) then it must not be that bad”. I recently wrote “let me be the Christian who doesn’t rely on others wrongdoings in order to justify my own”. Excuse me if I have gone off tangent, we are dealing with attempting to define truth. All theory is based on seeking a truth; I’m not saying I am right, or wrong. I don’t know. I speak only from experience.

I recently experienced the presence of God upon me one morning. Whilst questioning God out of frustration and anger, I then felt an overwhelming peace. In that moment of silence, I felt these words fall upon me:

“You’re always fighting through choices on how to feel, behave, and act in many areas of your life. The problem should’ve never been the choice. It’s not about the choice you make, rather the journey you take. Didn’t we already establish that I am the choice? I am the choice. Just pay attention to the journey”

Experience is the best teacher. Regardless of the choices; it’s the experiences that establish how rich we are as individuals. The experiences hold the lessons we are called to testify. I think truth comes from understanding what life is really about. If you establish your understanding of why you’re here, (as a Christian) that is to spread the good news. Then there are a few factors that should come into mind. These factors I believe should enable you to gain that control and authority in redefining who you are based on your core beliefs; based on your core truths, rather than believing in the subjective truths that lead you to loss of control and identity, to the point you lose control of who you are and are seriously struggling to get back to base. A point where your identify has been moulded as a result of assimilation. I’m sure if you’re in this place of sever discomfort with your identity you’re asking God to bail you out. I can relate.

Patterning your own religion to adhere to your personal standards of what God is asking from you is dangerous. This is where I feel my Subjectivity and conformity to imitation has consequently led me to a place of loss. Loss of who I am that is.

So the questions now are; how does one strip back to basics in order to truly understand what God is asking for? If I can’t interpret according to my own instincts then am I even relevant? Am I not giving God too much authority over my life and leaving myself with nothing? Is it not almost like losing your identity on another spectrum? What does it mean to have a relationship with God? What does it mean to be a child of God? Alongside these questions, what if I am wasting my time? What is truth if there is no tangible evident? Allow me to assign myself homework to tackle these Existential issues in the coming weeks. Allow yourself to tackle these questions and share with others, and myself what your thoughts are. I’ll speak to you very soon, have a beautiful week.

Fulfilling My Purpose

Uncategorized, WORDS FROM A PETAL

Something about this season has been pushing me to pursue my callings in order to fulfill my purpose. My purpose has been meaning more to me than ever before because of my desire to experience more of God’s presence in my life. For a long time, I was finding ways to justify my lack of ability to conform to my passions and in the end I was beginning to lose myself and felt that those around me where unable to experience me at my best. Upon realising this, my heart broke as I have always been someone who lives with a desire to ensure people have a place in my heart and can experience doses of God in me. I was really lost in all my insecurities. I feel I am here because of my purpose and not because of the me I have become. This version of me has been building itself over a course of two years and I have a lot to unlearn in order to come back home to myself. I want to share my journey and challenge myself creatively. I want to offer myself another outlet in order to breathe more. At the moment, the foundation of my channel is not clear and will soon be established the more I encounter revelations about its premise. I just know that I am meant to be here. I also want this to accommodate the people that like the idea of topics I write about on Herlastpetal but don’t necessarily enjoy the idea of reading and prefer visuals. I want to reach as many people as possible and feel offering myself an extra space will support me in my blogging journey. There are so many issues I found with my video but watching it through God’s eyes (whose vision does not see imperfections), I was able to push myself in posting it. Ladies and Gentlemen (or shall I say “Petals”), I welcome you to my Youtube Channel.

For more videos, COMMENT, LIKE, SHARE, AND SUBSCRIBE.

Love Always

HLP X

Loving Through the Eyes of the Lord

WORDS FROM A PETAL, WORDS FROM THE PETAL

Last night, a woman told me that God was presenting me with a new vision. One that sees through his eyes. I found this so profound. A few weeks ago I had a beautiful discussion with one of my best friends about love and it’s multifaceted ways. I am so moved by my recent experiences and discussions with and through God that I must share. Upon receiving this prophecy, I began to reflect on the ways I’ve shown love to people and things around me. I compared these ways to how God may react and despite me rightfully showing compassion I realised a huge difference. I noticed there was so much more I needed to do and so many other ways I needed to show love. It is one thing to know what love involves but another thing to apply it effectively. It’s not always easy. Love is a very selfless act a lot of the time.

We can often find ourselves passionately disagreeing out of love and misunderstanding because we expect a conventional love; since it’s what we have been programmed to expect. To exemplify, expecting someone to say “I love you” in order to validate that love to make yourself feel better. We want our loved ones to show us in ways we expect but there is a serious problem with our expectations because they can sometimes become unobtainable. Then we get disowned by friends, family, and loved ones. For me, seeing through the eyes of the Lord exposes me to a love that’s different. A love that is Galations 5:22. A love that is proof through actions because they speak volumes. A love that is patient; able to give space when space is required in order to know how patience feels and that it’s not just about waiting. A love that finds and creates a peace in loud environments, one that is a leader by example, shows kindness, goodness and faithfulness. I don’t expect this love to be easy but for what it’s worth I’ll try. My lens is new and it’s one I will need to get used to because my vision is blurry but for what it’s worth, I’ll do it. Love through the eyes of the lord.

I’ll speak to you soon.

Right Now Matters

POEMS, Uncategorized

I’m currently going through a transcript of an interview I did with an amazing  artist. I’m also watching a film called While We Where Young. I asked my interviewee whether he writes based on imagination or reality, to which he told me that he is an empathetic being. For him this means he adapts himself to his social surroundings. For example, I could tell him about my story of pain and if he relates to it em-pathetically, he can write about it. I’m drifting between the words he said to me and what’s happening in the film. The film: About a middle aged couple inspired by a younger couple to make the most of living in the moment (this being one of the many themes). The main character is reminded of his age when he takes a trip to the doctors and is told that he has arthritis in his knee. I pause and go back to my conversation with the interviewee. I then think about my own life. I’m immediately triggered as a creative to write about my surroundings and my encounter with this film. So here i am; being empathetic to his situation because I’m reminded that when I turn 40, I don’t want to be living life regretting a life I should’ve lived. I don’t want to relive an age because I didn’t embrace it then. This means right now matters. Firstly, I want to thank my interviewee for unknowingly allowing me to go through this journey with myself. I also want to thank the film for reminding me that I am seriously a hypochondriac, and that this is not my portion.

2018 has so far been a year of fearlessness and action. This is why I have enjoyed it. I have de-cluttered, thus creating room for newer experiences and people in my life. I have also embarked for the umpteenth time on my relationship with God but this time it’s different, this time it’s in a healthier place. I’m prioritising my health on a physical and mental premise. It has been on my heart to write about these areas in more depth but the words have escaped me until now and I will go into more depth in future posts throughout this year. I’m happy to be here, because I know in a few months’ I’ll pass through on this post and smile. Part of the process of de-cluttering to create space means I need to get rid of poems I’ve written, ideas I’ve had in my mind, attitudes I’ve embodied I no longer identify with, and so much more. This may seem quite abrupt though I know you will understand this; that when it’s time for something to be given to the universe, it is time. I want to introduce you to a very old but new poem which has been hidden in my emails for many, many months.

I figured I needed a place to express this journey of de-cluttering and Her Last Petal feels right, join me as I let go of moments, that have made me who I am, moments that I Love. Like I said; I don’t want to be a certain age regretting that I didn’t leave my craft for the universe to unfold. Thank you to my loved ones for inspiring and pushing me to get myself out there as a creative. I love you all.

This is my first poem of the year.

KATANAS PEAK

A poem about a samurai sword acknowledging her infinite powers whilst stabbing. A poem also about myself acknowledging the impact of my presence in society as a woman.

 

Produced by Steve Roe

Work Hard, Play Often

WORDS FROM A PETAL, WORDS FROM THE PETAL

It is running a scorching hot bath, and pouring a handful of bath salts right before feeling the burn across my body. It is lying down, deciding that in this moment I will not think about anything, or anyone. It is smothering a nourishing soap across my body and scrubbing my stresses away, then wrapping myself into a warm towel. It is applying a special body lotion/cream across me. It’s spraying a perfume against my neck and welcoming its freezing attack and then allowing it to warm into my skin. Once I’m out with loved ones, you may often find me quiet, smiling, distant yet content; I’ll be savoring the beauty of the moment. Or, you may find that I am talkative, excited, smiling and content; this is because these moments come at a rare occasion. Don’t hold back, Value each moment of your play time.

The whole “work now, play later” has a ring to it. It is only right that we work hard and do consider to find time to play. I’ve reflected on this mentality and used it as a tool often to reassure myself that I too will get to reward myself with something nice once I finish working hard. I’ve also used this tool to reassure me when looking through numerous snap/instagram stories whilst firming it at work. I’ve also realised that I don’t want to use this quote to justify my misery, nor do I want to rely on it any longer.

It makes sense that you should also play, after working so hard. Be careful to not bury the “play” part whilst overworking yourself. Later may never come. I understand that this mind-set carries a certain aura that we may want to associate with in order to make us feel as though we are going the extra mile in comparison to our peers. Later may never come. Often, I’ve worked myself to the bone because I know exactly where I want to see myself. In the last few months, I’ve grown to enjoy the luxury of playing, after working really hard, rather than overworking and not having time to enjoy. Work Hard, Play Often.

Love Always,

Her Last Petal

x

Its Not Faith, It’s Me

WORDS FROM A PETAL, WORDS FROM THE PETAL

(Approximately 16:55)This post is fueled by the current rage running through my system. As much as the result of my day has mithered me, I am surprised that I still have energy to attend to this blank canvas to write my thoughts. I hope this post speaks to someone. My main testimonies always go back to one theme: Faith. This morning was beautiful for me. I tasted freedom and peace of mind. I tasted God. In my mind I began to plan this very same post but the vibe was definitely going to be different. It was definitely going to sound positive. Let me talk you through my day, because it’s now 17:10 and when I began writing this very same post a few minutes ago my feelings were genuine. I was really upset after having such a beautiful morning and afternoon. A few minutes ago I was  struggling through this post trying to get to the point which I will further develop later in this post. Now my feelings have suddenly changed because the news I have just received is beautiful. I want to define the true (subjective of course) meaning of Faith.

This morning, I wanted to post about Faith, I am glad I have done so regardless of the mixed emotions I have experienced. I wanted to highlight the importance of Faith. The definition I take can be found in the bible as it is the one I rely on: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see”, Hebrews 11:1.

I’ve always struggled with faith, a concept that I feel needs to be emphasised to me. It explains why I go through challenges that conclude with Faith being the solution. Most of what I end up going through leads back to one idea: The lack of faith I have in what it is I want to believe in. I have had too many instances of worrying for long periods of time, stressing about the assumed results of what it was that was impeding my progress. I realised that I was applying too much faith into the hypotheticals. It really started to bother me until I realised that my faith was not the problem. I was. The definition never changed, rather what I was choosing to apply this faith to. I had more confidence in the “what ifs” taking place, rather than The God I claim(ed) to love. I didn’t believe in my excellence because I would always assume the unseen result of mine was what would happen. The reality is we crave God. We crave to see him physically in order to know he is “real”, completely dismissing the true essence of what Faith is. But it is in our worries that we apply our faith, when still we cannot tangibly see into the reality of our future in the same way we can’t see God. In short, know where to apply your faith because you definitely have it. If you have goals that you want to achieve, have faith in them for they hold the same literal premise of the same worries that hold you back. You can’t see either of them. I am learning to have more faith in God, rather than the results of my hypothetical worries.

It is now 18:11. I’m smiling because despite the roller coaster of emotions I have felt, when I was at my worst today, I still managed to grow the courage to write about God whilst raging with anger. I hold onto this testimony for it has taught me to remain consistent in my faith regardless what is going on around me.

Love Always.

Her Last Petal.

A Style Post?

Style

“Style” is like an untouched room waiting to be filled on my platform. The doors of this page have been shut for much too long purely because fashion has been the last thing on my mind alongside many others due to life getting in the way. Nonetheless, I want to challenge myself, to reopen places I once found comfort in. I’m going to kick things off with this post.

Tanny SV 06Tanny SV 13Tanny SV 05

I’m wearing this lovely blouse from Zara, paired with palazzo trousers I bought from H&M. I love Palazzo trousers; with barely any hips and pretty much a flat behind I find that the trousers will hug you from the waist down in all the right places, leaving a neat finish. The blouse is simple, but prominent in its design therefore being the staple piece of my outfit. I didn’t want either ends of my outfit to be loud so piecing the blouse with simple white trousers gave me this balance. For more on balance, head on over to my previous post which isn’t quite about fashion but more about friendships.

On our way back through the country park the sun came out just before it would leave for the day and @lesstakesphotos and I ran for it. We managed to catch these lovely portrait shots. Thank you, for always having time for my ideas and allowing me to bring them to life.

See you soon with another “Style” Post

Love always

Her Last Petal xTanny SV 09